39 Weeks, kinda

You know, since I’m trying to keep in mind that 39 weeks really doesn’t start until Tuesday!  But gotta keep on my Sunday posting schedule. 🙂

My appointment on Friday was quick, things looked/sounded good.  Earlier last week M moved positions again so now her butt is back on the right side and her feet to the left.  What a wiggle worm!  The midwife didn’t offer to check me, so I didn’t ask.  She said baby’s head was “way down there.”  I was like, “yeah…” 🙂  So that’s good.  I’ve also been having more cramps and Braxton Hicks since Thursday, so that’s an improvement too.  I’ve actually had some worse cramps since getting up this morning, but for all I know they’re just from muscles being aggravated from coughing/blowing my nose/maybe sleeping funny.  I hope it won’t be long (well, I guess no matter what it won’t be, but you know… sooner than later!)

I asked the midwife when I should come to the hospital since it’s a 45 minute drive (normally it’s like contractions 5 minutes apart for an hour I think).  She just said come in once they’re regular, better to get there too early than too late.  Quite true.  If she’s not here by this Friday (39w3d) I’m going to be like, Come on!  B was born by now, why aren’t you too?! 🙂

Whenever B asks his usual question of, “What is M doing in there?”  I’ll say, “Plotting her escape, hopefully!”  I’ve been doing really well lately about it, I’m only feeling excited!  Not letting myself think the other way like I was struggling with before.

38 Weeks

My appointment this past week was on Thursday.  It went great, everything looked/sounded good, GBS was negative, and best of all the midwife confirmed that M is no longer posterior!  I had been pretty sure she’d moved so her butt was on my left and her legs to the right (which is the opposite of how she’s been for the past few months, and I swear it makes her super kicks hurt more because that side hasn’t been conditioned!).  But then I woke up one night and my entire back was killing me because she was all up against it.  I had to get up and do yoga and lay over the birthing ball until I felt she’d moved enough I could actually lay down.  Then I prayed hard that she’d move and woke up again 40 minutes later and she had!  The midwife said she’s in a perfect position now and we just have to wait for her.

I suppose she really could decide to show up at any time now.  I certainly don’t feel like it, but then I never felt like I was close to labor with B either.  Aside from the 2 nights prior of early labor type things.  But I didn’t feel them coming!  Everything is pretty much ready, so I’m just waiting impatiently!

(I keep having to remind myself that technically 38 weeks doesn’t start until Tuesday.  Did I ever mention that, how the letter my RE faxed over said that he’d calculated my due date of November 11 off of an egg retrieval date of February 18?  But my egg retrieval date was most definitely February 20, making my real due date November 13, not to mention at all 4 ultrasounds she measured spot on for a due date of the 13th too.  But the CNM office said they do what my RE says, and not like it really matters.  But by the end of this week I’ll really be expecting labor to start at any time.  I sure hope it does sooner than later.)

35-36 Weeks

Well, now I suppose I’m finally getting close.  One month until due date.  Seems likely she’ll be here before then too, but I’m only basing that on how B was born 4 days before my due date and generally the next one comes earlier than the first.  But not necessarily, so yeah who knows.  My goal is just to be 100% prepared by the end of October/38 weeks.

My appointment on Thursday was good.  I go back every week now, and this week will have the GBS test.  I’m going to get a flu shot too, assuming insurance will cover it.  We’ve never done them before, but having a newborn in flu season makes me a little nervous.  Anyway, GBS was negative with B, so hope it will be this time too.  Really don’t want an IV stuck to me during labor or to have to worry about antiboitics not working.

Babycenter said at 35 weeks your baby doesn’t have much room to maneuver anymore.  Try telling her that!  She seems to think she does.  Sometimes I think her elbow or whatever it is is going to pop out of my side like in Alien.  And now when she gets to doing those super strong wiggles/pushes it often (especially if it’s late afternoon on) causes some pretty painful Braxton Hicks that sometimes I can feel all the way down in my cervix or around into my back.  The other day while driving she was pushing out and hitting nerves in my hips so hard, plus the contractions it caused, that it made my eyes water!  She likes to hit the nerves in my hips while I’m walking or standing, of course, and this morning I keep getting a shooting nerve pain down my entire left leg.  Ow.

One thing I have noticed in the last several weeks too is that she gets startled easily.  I’m a little concerned that she’ll wake up really easily!  It was always so hard to wake B up, I could vacuum in the same room with him, and even now the loudest thunder ever won’t wake him up, I can yell next to him and he won’t even stir, etc.  I’m a firm believer in not being quiet while the baby is sleeping because if they’re used to noise while they sleep, you can continue on like normal while they sleep with no issue.  So I’m sure she’ll be able to sleep with regular noise going on, but what if there was a sudden noise… wake up?  Bah.  We’ll see!

Anyway, I’m feeling ok.  Along with the nerve-pushing-on, I’ve been having more Pelvic Girdle Pain (sacral joint is worst, but pubic bone too) and it’s much harder to walk.  I have to walk really slowly often, but that’s not abnormal.  I’ve generally been doing better since my initial feeling scared episode I posted about earlier. I made myself make a list of freezer meals to get started on and also typed up and printed birth affirmations.  But yesterday my husband put the crib up and it caused a major anxiety attack.  After seeing it there in the bedroom anyway I realized the Pack and Play would be better than the crib down here, even with the cons.  So crib will be going upstairs today and I will set the Pack and Play up because B keeps talking about it now.

33-34 Weeks

Thursday’s appointment was uneventful, which is good!  Didn’t bother asking what I measured because the midwife I saw apparently doesn’t just tell you.  Heartrate was 133bpm.  I did mention to the midwife about how the only thing I was nervous about was tearing along my episiotomy scar, and she said actually the scar tissue area should be stronger than the skin.  I don’t know if I believe that, doesn’t make sense to me.  But whatever, I’ll do what I can to avoid it, and if I tear I’ll live.

Last week my ab muscles were so sore again.  One day they felt like they were all pulled even, and I actually did pull one on the side when I got out of bed.  And you’d think M would be running out of room in there to push around very hard, but that is apparently not the case.  She is one strong, pokey little baby!  I think what I’m feeling slide around my lower sides in a very jabby manner are her elbows.  She pushes her butt and feet up on one side and her arms out on the other as hard as she can.  She likes to cram her head against one hip and then punch at my other hip bone.  And I often feel these weird “popping” feelings in there and have no idea what’s going on.  Fingers moving?  I don’t think they uncurl their fists very much though, newborns don’t.  It’s really cool, but I wish I could see what was happening!  She also gets hiccups a lot and this rhythmic rising movement I notice every so often I’ve decided must be breathing practice.  She’ll have super lungs!  She’ll need them with all that wiggling she apparently does.  We’ll see, I don’t know if it’s possible for a baby to be more wiggly than B was.

And then I’ve never entirely quit ever feeling crappy in the evenings.  It’s usually only a few times a week, but the last few weeks it’s seemed more frequent.  Some nights I feel like the first trimester again, but with less car-sick-y nausea type feeling.  Food is gross and I can’t force it down, I’ve had to re-resort to toast and pretzels and 7-up.  Almost threw up multiple times one of the days too, but by sheer willpower I did not!

Well, anyway, the dryer is fixed now (hooray!) and I got some Tide so I washed all of the newborny clothes, sheets, blankets, etc.  I forgot how small baby stuff is, it all fit in one load!  It still feels a bit unreal to see this baby stuff sitting around, and I still feel uneasy about opening things/removing tags.  But I’m so excited to be at the last-few-weeks prep stage!  I won’t prep diapers until I get one more dozen that we need.  But I have plenty to sew this week!  Then maybe ought to start planning freezer meals to make.

31-32 Weeks

Had an appointment on Thursday, the CNM was in a bit of a hurry to catch up I think because it only took like 1 minute!  Things were good, still measuring a week ahead and heartrate was 136bpm so I guess she was a little more chilled out than at the last few appointments.  I was able to schedule my next two 2-week appts. afterwards, then I’ll move to weekly ones!  Wow!  I suppose I have under 2 months left now but it still seems like so much longer to wait.

I’m doing pretty well, no real anxiety, no major pains or discomforts, although it felt like she just had a growth spurt, my muscles felt very stretched and sore the last few days.  Just hard to do much of anything that involves moving (or even not moving… such as laying or sitting!).  I have a feeling M is going to be born super strong and almost able to hold up her head just like B (the nurses and pedi were quite impressed!).  Seriously, sometimes she pushes so hard with her feet that it hurts!  She’s been having hiccups more lately too, like in the middle of the night last night for about 5 minutes.  I think it was annoying her because after awhile it would be like *hiccup*wiggle arms* every time. 🙂  (And ha, she actually just started up with hiccups again right now as I was editing this!)

I still feel like I’m waiting to be able to do the next phase of stuff to do.  Which I am, I’m waiting for my son’s preschool to start mostly, and also just 36-ish weeks for some other stuff.  It feels like I’m prepared, but I’m not when I look at my to-do list!  Things I still need to get/do:
-spray paint the ceiling fan (actually this is all my husband’s job!)
-finish sewing wipes and quilt
-sew a few other little things I don’t need, but would like (fleece soakers, fitted diapers, bunting decoration, changing pad…)
-buy postpartum supplies
-make freezer meals
-pack hospital bag
-make wipe solution
-buy another nursing bra or two and breast pads
-somehow acquire wash cloths, towels, one more newborn sized PUL cover, disposable liners, Boba, fleece sleep sacks, a few more clothes, and then a few other things that would be nice to have but don’t specifically need them at all/before she’s born*
-wash baby clothes, blankets, etc. and put them away
-prep diapers and put them away
-get baby scrapbook started
-set up the crib (also my husband’s job!)

Yikes, seems like I’ll be busy next month!

*Some of these things I have/expect to be getting in the next month or whatever in the mail because my very awesome and amazing and lovely friends from all over surprised me with a baby shower!  ♥♥♥  I was so surprised and so grateful to have people who would do that for me, and it also takes a lot of stress off too!

29-30 Weeks

I can’t believe I’m to 30 weeks.  That seems so close now, being in the 30s weeks is like the homestretch!

I had an appointment with the midwife on Wednesday.  It went well, heartbeat at 156 bpm and still measuring ahead a week.  I had been starting to worry for no apparent reason that she wasn’t growing right, but things are on track so I should stop worrying about that.  I hope going every 2 weeks now will help with stuff like that.  I’m feeling mostly ok physically.  I’ve been getting some occasional heartburn in the evenings and I’ve been noticeably more tired lately and such.  Emotionally… eh.

I’ve been having increasingly frequent bouts of anxiety, mostly at night but kind of just whenever, and just general extra antisocial, blah/I don’t care about anything sort of feelings.  At first I thought maybe it’s because of the summer I had, who wouldn’t feel crappy after 3 months of being home alone with an exhausting 4-year-old from 7am-10pm 6 days a week and unable to go anywhere?!  Then I thought maybe it’s because I’m getting closer to the end it’s still sometimes hard to imagine this is really finally happening, and that’s causing the return of the fear that something somehow will go wrong and this will all end.   I think I have done a good job the last few months at being able to let myself be completely happy and have no real worries get in my way (even with having non-baby life things to worry about in the recent past too), and I know that comes from God and what I’ve learned from Him in the last few years.  But really that’s not it either causing most of the anxiety.  It’s just there for mostly no apparent reason.  So I think this is just what happens to me.  I struggled with the same thing most of the third trimester when I was pregnant with my son too.  I managed it by drinking tea and reading my bible before bed.  I got some tea a few days ago and will get back in that habit, and also hope to have the hypnobabies sleep relaxing CD thing soon.  I mentioned all this to the midwife and she had me talk to a social worker who agrees it sounds biological and counseling won’t help.  But meds would be a last resort of course.  So she’s just going to keep tabs on how I’m managing.

That said, the last 3 nights I’ve been pretty much fine!  Prayers have worked, hopefully that will continue to be the case.  My stomach has been feeling kind of blech, but it doesn’t seem to be from anxiety at least.

27-28 Weeks… Happy Third Trimester!

Even though some sources (including, I believe, my CNM office) count 28 weeks as the beginning of the third trimester, I guess 27 weeks is more accurate as the beginning of the last third.  But either way, I am definitely in it now.  It’s unbelievable.  It still feels so far but so close that we get to meet our baby!  It’s also amazing to know that there’s not much more to go on developmentally anymore, just lungs maturing more and brain becoming even more active.  If she was born right now, the chance of her surviving with no disabilities or issues is very very high.  That’s a huge comfort and just so amazing to know I’m that far.

I really have everything done that I wanted to get done early-ish (like painting).  Which is good because I get tired and sore more easily now I’ve noticed.  I’m not going to rush the rest because B starts preschool Sept. 19th (D:), so I’ll have a month and a half with 3 hours a day at home alone.  I won’t know what to do with myself.  So I’ll finish up all the little preparations I have left, like washing baby clothes, prepping diapers, getting her baby scrapbook together, and making food to freeze.  Still have some stuff left to buy, but not a whole lot.  Mostly diapers, which are the most fun to buy too! 🙂

Oh, at 26 weeks I did have an appt. with my CNM, which went well.  I was still measuring a week ahead and M had a good strong heartbeat.  She’s funny and moves so much differently than B did.  She likes to punch and/or elbow my hip bones a lot (although lately is more frequently facing straight and punches my cervix instead), and I’m able to more often feel her feet pushing out too.  I could feel them against me the other day, and her butt on the other side.  I am getting more pushing type feelings now and less full-out kicks… guess she’s running out of room.  It’s a lot different having a not-anterior placenta, I can feel so much more going on!  And also different how she’s a little higher than B was (he was so low the whole time!) and with the placenta on top too my top ab muscles went through a sore phase last week from stretching and sometimes I feel like I can’t breathe because stuff is pushing up against my organs.  Never had that problem last time.  Anyway, I also did my glucose and iron test after my last appt. and I guess things were okay because they never called about it.  I’m right between switching from 4 to 2 week appointments, so I’m going back 3 weeks after the last one, which will be next week now.

And just an extra thing to say: it’s still really hard to see people out there who assume/can act that having a baby is an easy thing to do.  Whenever I see stuff it still hurts.  I don’t think that will ever really stop bothering me on some level.

25-26 Weeks

By 26 weeks baby is on average 14″ long and 1 2/3 lbs.  She’s starting to fill out more and her hair has color and texture and is growing more (if she’s going to have any… B had hardly any).  Ears are more sensitive than before and she’s beginning to practice breathing.

Only 2 more weeks to go to the third trimester!  It seems like time is going by both quickly and slowly.  Sometimes it seems like November isn’t very far off, but then it’s 14 weeks… that’s a long time.  So even though I feel like we still have so much left to do to be ready, we do have plenty of time!  Really there are other things on my mind that I’m looking at in the meantime.  Like the summer being over, for a variety of reasons, one being because it is so dang hot.  This is not only the hottest summer ever anyway (seriously, how sad is it that we’re happy when it’s 84?!), but I can definitely tell that my body temperature is elevated because I am hot all the time.  And I can’t stand being hot, it’s miserable.  I’d much rather be cold.  Then after the summer, B starts preschool.  OMG, I’m trying not to freak out about that.  He’s been with me nearly 24-7 since he was born.

Anyway.  I just want M to be here soooo much!  (Although of course I’d much rather she not come until she’s full term, so I’m cool with the wait!)  Sometimes when I can feel her little body parts in there it aches how badly I wish I could see it and hold her and meet her.  Gah, I’m tearing up now.

23-24 Weeks

Things going on in there: The last few weeks the lungs are developing more, brain is developing more quickly, taste buds are developing more, and she’s getting used to the sounds she can hear.  Maybe she’s getting used to the sound of B blowing on my legs… sometimes when he’d do it she’d start squirming!  I don’t blame her.  It says loud stuff they get used to now probably won’t bother them after birth.  Maybe that’s why B could sleep through me vacuuming right next to him!  Or maybe just because that kid is impossible to wake up, always has been and still is.  Which should be fun when I have to wake him up for school in several more years, I can’t imagine he’ll wake up at 6am forever!

Anyway, back on topic.  I had an appointment with my CNM at 22 1/2 weeks that went well.  I was measuring a week ahead, which kind of surprised me because she feels crammed down there often.  But I also look/feel like I’m carrying a little higher than with B (yessss) so maybe not so much.  I go back on August 8th and will do the GD test then.

The last week or so I’ve been able to start occasionally feeling her actual foot.  Not just knowing it’s her foot when she kicks, but if I put my hand there I can feel her little knobby heel pushing and sliding around.  It’s so amazing to be feeling that!  I don’t know what she thinks she’s doing in there though… ice skating?

24 weeks!  That’s considered viability, and this was my next milestone.  Each week now is such a comfort to know if anything were to go wrong and she’d need to come out early her chance of surviving keeps going up.  But the next main milestone will be 28 weeks, the third trimester.  I feel like I’ve been hanging out for awhile, but it really isn’t too far off and I just can’t believe it!  This is going by so fast, which in a way is good because while I have been enjoying it I also have just been waiting for this baby for so long I am so eager for her to get here.  When I think about what’s coming up it makes me cry, and when I feel her wiggling and hiccuping away in there it makes me cry.  About a week ago she was being particularly kicky so I put my hand there to feel them and I could actually feel her little knobby heel moving back and forth across my hand!  Yeah, that made me cry too.

Even though things have sunk in, it’s just so surreal (I know I keep using that word, but I can’t think of a better one) to think about it, and to think that all of the pain and struggle in the last 3 years is done.  Not that the pain from it is gone, but I think it should be able to start healing soon, and just knowing I’m not living that pain and struggle every single day anymore is unable to be put into words.  I have in fact thought it feels underwhelming to come to that conclusion, and it makes me feel bad.  But I do have surges of such happiness (as mentioned above, which makes me cry, who would thunk it?), but I guess it’s like I’m not surprised?  I guess I feel that way because I always knew God would answer my prayers when it was the right time, and I had faith in that?

21-22 Weeks

For 21 weeks Babycenter says that now I may start feeling stronger kicks instead of flutters, and I may start noticing a pattern with movement.  HA.  I suppose they stay conservative so people who don’t feel much don’t worry.  But anyway, she’s definitely kicking harder these days.  At 19 1/2 weeks was when I first felt her kick from the outside, and within the next day or two my husband got to feel her for the first time too!  It was a record, with B it took a good 2 weeks for him to cooperate after I had initially felt him from the outside!  And just before 21 weeks I was able to start seeing her kicks from the outside too.  Mostly because she’d been on her stomach for about a week where everything was really low, but then she moved and was kicking by my belly button.  Easier to see!  She likes facing that way though, and she’s very thumpy in there some days, I’m not sure what’s going on.  Feels like hiccups maybe, but I don’t know if they can get hiccups yet?  Or maybe she’s pushing off the bottom and pushing her back against the placenta?  It’s just so cool to feel so much more movement since the placenta is on top!  With it being in the front with my son I didn’t feel as much movement ever.

So also at 21 weeks she was carrot-length-sized (as B called her, “Carrot Baby”), and now has eyebrows and eyelids (didn’t she already have eyelids?).   At 22 weeks she’s a spaghetti squash length.  The pancreas is starting to develop, eyebrows, eyelids, and lips are getting more detail and definition, and her irises are formed but don’t have any pigment.  I think they’ll be brown.  We shall see.

Ouch, the muscles around my belly button are starting to hurt a lot.  Last time I remember it hurting so badly sometimes even my shirt touching there made it hurt worse.  But it makes me feel good to know that means she’s growing.

I’m starting to be able to let this sink in now.  After finding out we’re having a girl I’ve bought a few clothes and such (will have to mostly wait until fall stuff comes out on that) and she has a name. 🙂  And I’m getting started on the room, although I need to get the room cleared of junk first which will happen next weekend when we have a garage sale.  I’ll be sure to make a post about my room ideas!  They’ve only been in my head for like 2 years.

Can’t believe I’m to 22 weeks already.  24 weeks is my next milestone because that’s considered viability.  Then after that the chance of a preemie being normal goes up 10% each week, so it’s an increasing comfort each week after that to know in case anything were to suddenly happen.