National Infertility Awareness Week 2013

Blogger’s Unite: “Join the Movement”

“The Bloggers Unite Program is one of the largest public education campaigns for RESOLVE. This Program brings bloggers together to talk about infertility during National Infertility Awareness Week®…  The theme for this year’s Blog Challenge is “Join the Movement…” The goal of this year’s Blog Challenge is to bring together bloggers to talk about how you are making the difference in ways large and small in the lives of people with infertility.

Not going to submit it for competition, my blog isn’t that snazzy or publicized and I don’t know if I’d ever want it to be, but I wanted to write the post still.  Maybe someday I’ll be even more open.  I need a few years to go from zero being open to being semi-open/open to privately talk!  Since I’m posting about other stuff now, maybe later this year I’ll be more public.  Because everyone wants to hear what I have to say.  Ha! 🙂

I’m not sure how much of a difference I make.  I don’t feel like I make any at all, but part of the point of starting this blog in the first place and the whole reason I still hang around message boards is so that I can help or inspire others.  So if even one person felt better or less alone after reading something I wrote, I suppose that’s a difference.

When I had my first miscarriage, I felt it was too taboo and personal to say anything to anyone.  I remember desperately wanting to tell everybody around me for the next few weeks what had happened.  I wanted them to know how much pain I was in so they knew why I wasn’t myself, and I wanted them to know that I had been pregnant, to recognize that I had a baby.  Aside from close family, I only ever told two friends and one of my bosses.

I don’t remember when I ever said anything publicly.  I think after I lost Michael maybe, I remember posting the picture of the silver angel box with his name and the date on Facebook, hidden amongst other regular photos in the album.  At some point I know I decided that it wasn’t fair to have to completely hide stuff like that.  I kept wondering if someone I knew was out there having gone through a loss or who was having trouble conceiving and they felt so alone thinking nobody they knew had gone through it, so I started dropping little hints by sharing a few articles about secondary infertility or recognizing Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness, and I nervously mentioned and asked for support when we were doing IVF.

I really admire those who are major advocates, but I don’t really feel up for that.  So I just go about being more discreet, but still plenty open.  It has helped me to feel less alone myself, and hopefully for someone else too.

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