While we were moving stuff around today I realized one more thing I’ll have to do to prepare… put baby stuff away where it goes so it can be used. The idea of doing that makes this seem so real, and I felt really freaked out and started crying. It makes me feel really nervous and afraid. I guess I’m still more afraid that something is going to go wrong than I thought I was. I think I’m afraid that as I’m so close to finally having and being able to hold my baby that she will still be taken away from me. It’s that sort of last time where it will be decided one way or the other sort of thing… nothing I’m not used to with this process, but on a much larger scale this time.
I will try to take it slowly getting stuff where it needs to go over the next few weeks and hopefully easing into it will help. Or otherwise it’s really not a big deal to have to get stuff out as needed or last minute.