God has Great Timing

Also very last minute, making for one emotionally-boggled morning.

So here’s the deal, I have been freaking out for months over the idea that when our initial 3 months of embryo freezing was through, if IVF worked, we’d have to discard them.  We’re not open to donating to a family or scientific research (which was recently legalized here) for various reasons, and I was under the impression it was $100/month to keep them frozen and we just can’t afford that, so our only option was discarding (which legally only you can do yourself and not the clinic).  Ideally we’d keep them frozen until we wanted to do an FET for #3 so we never “wasted” them, or at the very least keep them until I am holding this kid in my arms.  I have cried and struggled through this decision in the last few weeks, telling myself over and over that I knew in the beginning this would be the scenario if it worked, and yet God still was giving me the green light.  So why was I so uncomfortable with it?  I figured it was just because it’s a very sucky decision no matter what.  There are a lot of aspects of IVF that are not black and white or easy.

So anyway, we had our consent to release form signed and notarized yesterday, and today I was going to drop my husband off at work and head on up to turn it in and pick up the embryos, then have lunch with my mother-in-law.  Yesterday we got a bill for the payment due June 1st to keep them frozen.  I didn’t look at it until this morning, 30 minutes before we had to leave, and it very clearly said $100 charged for “Embryo Storage 3 Months.”  O.M.G.  So I was an emotionally confused mess for a few minutes, but I was like we can definitely spare $100 to keep them for 3 more months when I’d feel more “comfortable” making a decision, or even better for another 6 months until after the baby is born.  Yeah, we don’t really have the money, but it’s worth it for that decision.  So I’ve called the lab lady to tell her we’re not coming to pick them up after all, and it gets better.

I called my mother-in-law to tell her we weren’t going to be coming up for lunch (it’s an hour and a half drive).  She was sort of quiet/I could tell something was up when I was explaining everything to her, and then she said oh my gosh, at lunch today I was planning on giving you $100 just to use for anything you needed right now.  WOAH.  So she’s still giving us the $100, but now it will pay for 3 more months of cryo.  Absolutely amazing.  And I am just SO relieved to know it’s only $100/quarter.  That’s $33/month.  If my husband gets a teaching job for next school year, then I don’t see why we couldn’t even keep them frozen until we’d be ready for FET in 2 years or whatever.  Either way, it’s not something I have to decide so soon, and I’m going to try and trust that God will take care of everything again so it will work out the way it’s meant to.

My mom posted this scripture this morning, and I thought it applied quite well to this situation:
“Then Jesus said “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light.”” Matt.11:28-30

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